I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize