mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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