There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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