A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
