just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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