Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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