I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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