Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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