I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize