i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
