38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
