So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
