I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
