you have to choose: penises or morals?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize