you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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