We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
