I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
