Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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