Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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