too bad you live with your parents still
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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