I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
MIDGETS
????
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
