I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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