i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
