Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
