I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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