he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
