The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
