i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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