Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
