So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
