Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
