If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Are my feet made of real feet?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
