if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
