I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
