its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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