Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
