Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
