whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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