I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
