And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
