I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
