I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
