no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am one with the molecules
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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