YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
