I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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