I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
