oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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