Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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