And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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