you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize