i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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