I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
