ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
