You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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