i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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