oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
