I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
