At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
