help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
