OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize