How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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