I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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