: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
